Guess whose back? Back again? Guess whose back? Tell a friend!

Hello Yall I must admit that I've been ghost for a few months, I really didn't know where to tkae this blog, when really I should have been able to take it in all direction including forward. Currently, I put up a new layout, and changed some things on http://simplykomplex.blogspot.com/ which is supposed to be the new blog address, and hopefully I will buy a domain to make it SimplyKomplex.com, but I'm unsure on it I should move or not. Please drop me a comment on here and tell me what you think? Should I know why this Caged Bird sings move to SimplyKomplex?

Well, continuing with the story, a lot has changed. I have graduated from college, I'm looking at graduate schools now, and of course I want a job. I feel liek life is just beginning, and that's a little overbearing at times.

As for as relationships, they're on teh back burner for now, we'll see how things go after I get out of graduate school and finish focusing on me. That's all for now, I'll prolly update later. For now my new posts will prolly be http://simplykomplex.blogspot.com/ so give us a look sometimes

-SimplyKomplex

I didn't know if she would ever bounce back after the death of her boyfriend, but Corinne has done it again yall! It's a really deep and moving cd. You can tell she is still grieving over her loss, because it really shows in her emotions in the songs. Nevertheless I had to listen to this cd a few times before I caught on to it, but I'm really feeling it ESPECIALLY the slow songs right now. So if you want something to listen to....listen to Love On Its Way, Closer, and Ijavascript:void(0) Like to Call it Beaty!

Yall... I about near cried on my birthday. I DID cry on my bday lol to myself. (I'm gangsta...they can't see me cry lool) All my friends got together and took me out to a NICE Restaurant for my day. (LOL I still had to pay though ) It was all good though I'd pay $20 any day just to have that memory again.

It was so special because it was all my friends that started out together as freshman, plus a few new ones I'm close too. I have never felt so loved. The gesture was so simple but...I dunno meant the world to me.

I remember my last birthday was a horrible one. Me and my parents were into it, all my friends forgot it was my birthday, and a whole bunch of side stuff was going on......I was already depressed at the time, and I felt like I wasn't worth anything in the world and no one cared.

I just felt so blessed to have a birthday that I will remember forever.....Because I haven't had a birthday celebration since I was prolly 12 years old.

I got gifts too!! loool I got a Bath and Body Works Wallflower (I'm in LOVE with those things and the refills) and I got a bag of all my favorite foods and candies!!! My mom bought be a small gift set of Juicy Couture Perfume (Juicy, Couture Couture, and Viva La Juicy) and she and my gma gave me some money just to make sure that if no one did anything for my bday...I could if I wanted to. (They really didn't have to do that....I don't know why I get so emotional about all this stuff...I'm up here crying about it right now...and my bday was days ago...such a crybaby)

I don't know if I had an amazing time because I claimed it last year that I would have a blast or just because, but either way I am sooooo overjoyed to have people in my life that thought about me and actually wanted to spend time with me to make my day great.

This is a repost from an older blog...but I looked back on it...and love it even more today...

I love her.


Yeah I said it. I'm in love with a girl. Does that make me a lesbian? I am in love with a girl named Kristen aka Krazynkute
for short. I love the way she walks in a room and all the heads turns because she brightens up the place. I love the way
she can cheer up any grieve stricken person just with a funny joke or conversation. She's so smart. She's in college, she's never
had to pay tuition a day in her life, and her gpa is just below a 3.5. Even though she is really smart, I like how she serves others.
She does a lot of volunteer work, and you don't see too many younger adults do that now. She still finds time to do a lot of extracurricular work and still be that shoulder to cry on at 4am.

She's in and out of relationship, but I've always seemed to wonder why. A lot of guys like to be around her, talk to her
and tell their girlfriends about how she's so fun to be around. Despite that, she's still single.

She's so spontaneous it scares me at times. One time she went to taco bell at 12 am just to steal a tray to decorate for her big sister while pledging. She heard that her big sis loves to eat Taco Bell, but Kristen couldn't afford to buy a big gift certificate at the time. She's that type of girl to wake up in the middle of the night and say, "Let's go play in the rain".


She's pretty cute too. She has slanted but big Chinese eyes that sparkle in the sun. She always keeps on the cutests clothes and makeup. She never brags but
she is a constant shopaholic who likes to keep herself looking nice. She always seems to have it together. Brains, kuteness, and personality. She's even the President of the Student Government Association of her university. Who else could say that, or even have the balls to run for a political position at a majorily white school.

She loves to write poetry. She's been doing it since it was the uncool thing to do. Eric Roberson and Raheem Devaugn, stay on her ipod. All her teachers hear her as she sings on her way to class. They call her Lil Miss Smiles because she always stops to say hey or help someone along the way.

She has a disability, but I've never heard her complain even though I'm around her a lot. She has cried some nights because of the pain, but she never publically cries. She doesn't want to be a burden. She wishes someone would find a cure for her disease, but she said she wouldn't change her condition for a million dollars.


She's corny but cute. Different but fly. Man. If I could I would spend the rest of my life with that girl. Oh yeah..I can. I love that girl. That girl is me.


What do you like about yourself? If you don't love yourself....who will?

It's raining right. Dim lights, music softly playing in the background of my car driving down the highway. Tears dripping down like a faulty water faucet, eyes big as saucers, but heart caramelized, hard as rock. So then he calls. "Turn around. Kris sweetie turn around. Talk to me" So now he's racing to catch up with me, but can never catch up, to my heart that is.

Turn around means letting down my guard and the decision to keep going means to keep my guard up, but be sadly disappointed. Decisions Decisions...

And the story is to be continued....

So let's play a little catch up.

I have a new boo, sadly he doesn't make my "Bedrock." I love the person he is. I love the gentleman he is. He is so kind, so sweet, such a gentleman. He respects my wishes and dreams, supports me in all my endeavors, BUT one thing holds me back from giving my all and my heart to him. He is boring. I'm so spontaneous, so outgoing, so out there and with him I just keep "playing it safe." I think I needed to meet him in my life to understand how I want and will learn in the future to demand how to be treated. My new boo wherever he may be will open my doors, call me just because, go to church with me, genuinely love me, and be a man because I am his girl.

But for right now, I think I just want my single life back. Sorry.

I feel bad because I didn't figure this out until AFTER we got together. It's been a week and I just know it won't work sadly. We don't have much in common other than intelligence and we just don't click. Sad, but oh so true. I'm not even physically attracted to him. It's bad when you don't even want to kiss your own boyfriend. At the end of the day I fell in love with his behavior, but not him. That's a bad place to be. But we all learn from out mistakes right?

I hate that I waited until my last year to let people know of my talents, but hey whatever goes. I actually wrote thsi poem to dedicate it to a guy that absolutely gave me the run around. Acted like he loved me. Told me the words, but his actions didn't speak the same. And I followed him like a lil puppy dog lol, until I finally saw through the fog and realized I'm not an average chick and shouldn't be treated as such. I had to kick him out my world, but not before he heard this poem.... Enjoy

He says he loves me.
He’ll say it tomorrow
Cuz he’s said it before…but
He only confesses his love behind closed doors…and
Like a vampire by day our love is no more…but
He says he loves me

See this is the story of a million and two
When you love a man
But he does NOT love you
But he loves the idea that he sees on youtube
He’s just looking for a victim and that victim is you

He told you
We’re just friends
But if yall just friends
Why are you treating him like like ya husband
His clothes in your closet, You cooking his meals
Ironing his clothes, help paying his bills
And for dessert you give him a lil cookie just to seal the deal
Cuz that man love you

See ladies we need to wake up and face the reality
That we deserve a relationship that will last for eternity
And when he claims that this relationship is
Just between you and me
That’s really him saying that he doesn’t value
Your love, your mind, or your intimacy

Then ya feelings hurt way down the line
Cuz you were playing wifey and avoided the signs
Like when he gave you that played out line
And one day told you what’s yours is mine
But when you need him he can’t even give you time of day.


But still you want to go steady
But unlike R. Kelly
It don’t seem like he’s ready…but

He’s ready for sexing and texting and rubbing you up and
Calling you at 3 o clock in the morning
Just to say what’s up
But this man loves you

But reality speaks to me and says he loves you not
Cuz “yall just friends”
Which means he’s not your man
Or have you forgot
And he just want eff every girl in the world
And girl you ain't special
And you just happened to be Tuesday’s girl.


See a man loves a woman with boundaries
That doesn’t beat around the bush
To tell that brother how to please
Her..like
Open my car doors, call me your boo,
Go to church with me, say we were meant to be, and before you explore my body you must understand my values and insecurities.
Cause you say you love me.


Ladies we’ve all been the victim of love
In fact, we’ll prolly be it again
But next time that you’re cooking and cleaning and
Screaming and feening
Ladies let that man be your future husband
And not
JUST A FRIEND.

It's been two months since my last post huh?! Well...I'm NOT dead I promise! I've just been very busy with school! So much is happening in my life. Someone should have told me how bad of an idea it is to take Organic Chemistry, Physics, Immunology, Botany, Leadership in Action 401, Senior Seminar, and Regular Seminar at the same time. Yes count it up. 19 hours. I WILL SURVIVE!! lol

So far I'm passing everything, but it could be better lol. So I'e been MIA trying to stay up in the books!

I ran across this scripture, and it just made me think.

For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul.
-Mark 8:36

I can remember a few years from today, I used to wish for so much. I used to wish to change everything about my inner and outer appearance. I just wanted the opportunity to feel loved, wanted, and able to do all the things that others around me were doing and experiencing. So, I began to do man little things such as get new hairstyle, new clothing style, makeup, new friends, but in the process I almost lost the most important person, me. I woke up that day and realized sometimes it is good to be selfish. All that matters is me. My happiness. And it shouldn't involve other people's perceptions, thoughts, and wants of me.

I'm on life's rollercoaster, and no one is in the front seat but me and God. Ain't that a blessing? That's all for now! Love ya!

I got this from a message board. I thought this would be a cute challenge to have fun and educate ourselves. Type a short paragraph using these words to send to your DH/SO/BF/whoever! Let 'em know how you really feel and get their strongest muscle really aroused... (Don't forget to show us, too!)


apodyopsis (AP-oh-dy-AHP-sis)
act of mentally undressing someone

hypnerotomachia (HIP-nur-oh-tuh-MAK-ee-uh)
the struggle between sleep and sexual desire

callipygian (KAL-i-PIJ-ee-in)
having well-formed buttocks

colpocoquette (KAHL-puh-koh-KET)
woman who knows she has an attractive bosom and makes good use of its allure

basorexia
an overwhelming desire to kiss

cataglottism
kissing with the tongue; French kissing

cheiloproclitic
to be attracted to one's lips

http://users.tinyonline.co.uk/gswithenbank/unuwords.htm
^ a really good source for smart-sounding words.

Add more words if you know any!

My Story:

Your smile, Your scent, your touch. Those are the characteristics that come to mind while lying tranquil on a bolster and staid to the world. I wafted off last night and suddenly saw a silhouette of you. As the sight of your flawlessly chiseled body, gigantic hands, and enormous feet enter the room and approach my living room, my eyes suddenly drifted towards your budging biceps and I began to suffer from a bout of apodyopis.


You are such a tease. The way you pushed me against the wall and kissed me while playing in my hair stayed permanently in my mind well into the wee hours of the night where I began to fight hypernotomachia. I've always been known as a good girl, but I have always been attracted to callipygians, and you are surely one of them. Next time I see you, I will show you how cheiloprolitic I am, and no longer fight the basorexia to be as one with your succulent lips. I just hope you are attracted to colpocuqettes, because I’m hoping you take it all or nothing. Wink.

Just my pink pennies,
-Simple

I wrote this a long time ago. Just wanted to revisit.

I love her.


Yeah I said it. I'm in love with a girl. Does that make me a lesbian? I am in love with a girl named Kristen aka Krazynkute
for short. I love the way she walks in a room and all the heads turns because she brightens up the place. I love the way
she can cheer up any grieve stricken person just with a funny joke or conversation. She's so smart. She's in college, she's never
had to pay tuition a day in her life, and her gpa is just below a 3.5. Even though she is really smart, I like how she serves others.
She does a lot of volunteer work, and you don't see too many younger adults do that now. She still finds time to do a lot of extracurricular work and still be that shoulder to cry on at 4am.

She's in and out of relationship, but I've always seemed to wonder why. A lot of guys like to be around her, talk to her
and tell their girlfriends about how she's so fun to be around. Despite that, she's still single.

She's so spontaneous it scares me at times. One time she went to taco bell at 12 am just to steal a tray to decorate for her big sister while pledging. She heard that her big sis loves to eat Taco Bell, but Kristen couldn't afford to buy a big gift certificate at the time. She's that type of girl to wake up in the middle of the night and say, "Let's go play in the rain".


She's pretty cute too. She has slanted but big Chinese eyes that sparkle in the sun. She always keeps on the cutests clothes and makeup. She never brags but
she is a constant shopaholic who likes to keep herself looking nice. She always seems to have it together. Brains, kuteness, and personality. She's even the President of the Student Government Association of her university. Who else could say that, or even have the balls to run for a political position at a majorily white school.

She loves to write poetry. She's been doing it since it was the uncool thing to do. Eric Roberson and Raheem Devaugn, stay on her ipod. All her teachers hear her as she sings on her way to class. They call her Lil Miss Smiles because she always stops to say hey or help someone along the way.

She has a disability, but I've never heard her complain even though I'm around her a lot. She has cried some nights because of the pain, but she never publically cries. She doesn't want to be a burden. She wishes someone would find a cure for her disease, but she said she wouldn't change her condition for a million dollars.


She's corny but cute. Different but fly. Man. If I could I would spend the rest of my life with that girl. Oh yeah..I can. I love that girl. That girl is me.


What do you like about yourself? If you don't love yourself....who will?

“When a relationship dies do we ever really give up the ghost or are we forever haunted by the spirits of relationships past.”
-Carrie Bradshaw



And it came to me in a dream. Blindfolded I was led to a dark, lonely, and cold parking lot in the middle of the university. No sounds except the whistling of wind running through my hair and the sound of skin to skin contact as my tiny anemic frame struggled to stay warm against his army suit.

"Open your eyes." I heard being whispered in my ear. Once they opened I wished they would close again because I could no longer stop the tears running down my cheeks. My first Valentine's Day. No one in the past had ever even given it a thought. Now I was a mother haha. I inherited a 4 foot bear later named "Nichi" because I was his "Sun" and "Moon".

Chocolate was everywhere and 5 balloons were wrapped around Nichi's tiny hand (while he was strapped in his seatbelt for safety of course). The 5 balloons represented the 5th of December when we decided to be official. A golden chain was wrapped around my arm because we had a bond that would forever be locked together. So true in more ways than one. I wrapped my tiny arms around his neck, leaned in, then everything paused.


The dream began fast forward, rewind, and focused... The 5 balloons kept in a tiny leather box were burned. The chocolate box was destroyed and tossed around like the supposedly strong bond that we once shared, and the bracelet was given away like the time we spent over the years that was wasted. The look in Nichi's eyes were soo innocent that I couldn't bear (pun haha) to depart from him for despite I erased "him" from my past... I was still the "Sun" and "Moon". Like them I was still timeless and untouchable with a dark side that is rarely seen by everyone. Anyway, I locked Nichi in our storage room (as well as my heart temporarily), and I haven't loved like I once loved before finding either of them since.


Some people are always haunted by the ghost of relationships' past.
But some people are smart and let it free.
I wonder if I will be the latter one day
Or confined to my own past and insecurities?

To be continued.....

I can't believe the WHOLE friggin summer is over! I've just been tryna shop for a few new items to add to my wardrobe :-/ It's not going along as well as I would like loool. Here are a few things I picked up though. These are just various acessories. I put myself on a budget of $200, so all the things combined is so far less than $200. Thank God for Marshalls, TJMaxx, and Back to School Sales!! I need to get out to Hudsons, Half of Half, anf some mroe thrift stores to find some good dorm room decoration ideas!! TTYL