Kandy Smilez from Daddy

I make a lot of posts and blogs on here so i know yall ahve heard numeroous stories about my dad. He's a character. I just wanted to post a few conversations or recollect on some things that have made me smile or giggle over the years.



I asked my dad to hold my nephew for a minute while I fix the babe some food. How about when I come back my dad is holdin this child to the china cabinet whisperin, "When you get a lil bit bigger, I'll teach you everything. Like how to open these cabinets. Your grandma think we all stupid. Everybody know she keep candy and sprite in there. And if you share with me, I'll teach you ALL THE HIDING SPOTS OF THE HOUSE!! There's a whole bunch of sh*t....I mean stuff in this house for you to find!"

....I just died and went to laughter heaven

Kristen: Do I have a curfew?
Dad: Look Kris. Me and ya mom are old. We don't have time to be runnign up behind you. You bout the age now where u can just raise yaself right? You know us old people go to bed at 8pm. If ya a** mess up and get in trouble after 8pm and somehow end up in jail. Just remember that you gonna stay in there until morning. Cuz we're old, go to bed early, and we're deaf. We can't hear when they give you that 1 phone call to call us at 2am. Just do right. Don't get pregnant, don't do drugs, eat ya vegetables all that good stuff.

Little kid: Why is she in a wheelchair
Dad: (Doesn't know what to say)....Um...she has a disease called laziness. She just lazy. Reaaaaaaal lazy.

Dad: (69 yrs old) Kris you know any new dances?
Kris: Not really
Dad: What the h*** they teaching you up there? You're in a sorority right? You should know how to do the stanky leg and stuff!

Dad: (SK's mom), have you taught Kris stuff that gurls suppose to know. You know like how to walk in heels and switch when you walk
SK's mom: No, I teach her VALUABLE things like obedience, patience,
Dad: Well that good. I teach her all the IMPORTANT stuff then like telling them guys where the h*** to go when they act up

Kris: (1st grade) I'm not going back to school
Dad: Why?
Kris: They're going to kill Barney if I go back.
Dad: Not to worry. I killed him yesterday, but they said he died of natural causes. You going to school tommorrow.

Kris: HAPPY BIRTHDYA DADDY!! You're 69!!
Dad; Kris..you haven't heard? When you turn 65 you can skip birthdays. It's on that lil AARP card. I'm not celebrating this year. I'll be 69 next year. Thanx though