This is a repost from an older blog...but I looked back on it...and love it even more today...

I love her.


Yeah I said it. I'm in love with a girl. Does that make me a lesbian? I am in love with a girl named Kristen aka Krazynkute
for short. I love the way she walks in a room and all the heads turns because she brightens up the place. I love the way
she can cheer up any grieve stricken person just with a funny joke or conversation. She's so smart. She's in college, she's never
had to pay tuition a day in her life, and her gpa is just below a 3.5. Even though she is really smart, I like how she serves others.
She does a lot of volunteer work, and you don't see too many younger adults do that now. She still finds time to do a lot of extracurricular work and still be that shoulder to cry on at 4am.

She's in and out of relationship, but I've always seemed to wonder why. A lot of guys like to be around her, talk to her
and tell their girlfriends about how she's so fun to be around. Despite that, she's still single.

She's so spontaneous it scares me at times. One time she went to taco bell at 12 am just to steal a tray to decorate for her big sister while pledging. She heard that her big sis loves to eat Taco Bell, but Kristen couldn't afford to buy a big gift certificate at the time. She's that type of girl to wake up in the middle of the night and say, "Let's go play in the rain".


She's pretty cute too. She has slanted but big Chinese eyes that sparkle in the sun. She always keeps on the cutests clothes and makeup. She never brags but
she is a constant shopaholic who likes to keep herself looking nice. She always seems to have it together. Brains, kuteness, and personality. She's even the President of the Student Government Association of her university. Who else could say that, or even have the balls to run for a political position at a majorily white school.

She loves to write poetry. She's been doing it since it was the uncool thing to do. Eric Roberson and Raheem Devaugn, stay on her ipod. All her teachers hear her as she sings on her way to class. They call her Lil Miss Smiles because she always stops to say hey or help someone along the way.

She has a disability, but I've never heard her complain even though I'm around her a lot. She has cried some nights because of the pain, but she never publically cries. She doesn't want to be a burden. She wishes someone would find a cure for her disease, but she said she wouldn't change her condition for a million dollars.


She's corny but cute. Different but fly. Man. If I could I would spend the rest of my life with that girl. Oh yeah..I can. I love that girl. That girl is me.


What do you like about yourself? If you don't love yourself....who will?

It's raining right. Dim lights, music softly playing in the background of my car driving down the highway. Tears dripping down like a faulty water faucet, eyes big as saucers, but heart caramelized, hard as rock. So then he calls. "Turn around. Kris sweetie turn around. Talk to me" So now he's racing to catch up with me, but can never catch up, to my heart that is.

Turn around means letting down my guard and the decision to keep going means to keep my guard up, but be sadly disappointed. Decisions Decisions...

And the story is to be continued....

So let's play a little catch up.

I have a new boo, sadly he doesn't make my "Bedrock." I love the person he is. I love the gentleman he is. He is so kind, so sweet, such a gentleman. He respects my wishes and dreams, supports me in all my endeavors, BUT one thing holds me back from giving my all and my heart to him. He is boring. I'm so spontaneous, so outgoing, so out there and with him I just keep "playing it safe." I think I needed to meet him in my life to understand how I want and will learn in the future to demand how to be treated. My new boo wherever he may be will open my doors, call me just because, go to church with me, genuinely love me, and be a man because I am his girl.

But for right now, I think I just want my single life back. Sorry.

I feel bad because I didn't figure this out until AFTER we got together. It's been a week and I just know it won't work sadly. We don't have much in common other than intelligence and we just don't click. Sad, but oh so true. I'm not even physically attracted to him. It's bad when you don't even want to kiss your own boyfriend. At the end of the day I fell in love with his behavior, but not him. That's a bad place to be. But we all learn from out mistakes right?

I hate that I waited until my last year to let people know of my talents, but hey whatever goes. I actually wrote thsi poem to dedicate it to a guy that absolutely gave me the run around. Acted like he loved me. Told me the words, but his actions didn't speak the same. And I followed him like a lil puppy dog lol, until I finally saw through the fog and realized I'm not an average chick and shouldn't be treated as such. I had to kick him out my world, but not before he heard this poem.... Enjoy

He says he loves me.
He’ll say it tomorrow
Cuz he’s said it before…but
He only confesses his love behind closed doors…and
Like a vampire by day our love is no more…but
He says he loves me

See this is the story of a million and two
When you love a man
But he does NOT love you
But he loves the idea that he sees on youtube
He’s just looking for a victim and that victim is you

He told you
We’re just friends
But if yall just friends
Why are you treating him like like ya husband
His clothes in your closet, You cooking his meals
Ironing his clothes, help paying his bills
And for dessert you give him a lil cookie just to seal the deal
Cuz that man love you

See ladies we need to wake up and face the reality
That we deserve a relationship that will last for eternity
And when he claims that this relationship is
Just between you and me
That’s really him saying that he doesn’t value
Your love, your mind, or your intimacy

Then ya feelings hurt way down the line
Cuz you were playing wifey and avoided the signs
Like when he gave you that played out line
And one day told you what’s yours is mine
But when you need him he can’t even give you time of day.


But still you want to go steady
But unlike R. Kelly
It don’t seem like he’s ready…but

He’s ready for sexing and texting and rubbing you up and
Calling you at 3 o clock in the morning
Just to say what’s up
But this man loves you

But reality speaks to me and says he loves you not
Cuz “yall just friends”
Which means he’s not your man
Or have you forgot
And he just want eff every girl in the world
And girl you ain't special
And you just happened to be Tuesday’s girl.


See a man loves a woman with boundaries
That doesn’t beat around the bush
To tell that brother how to please
Her..like
Open my car doors, call me your boo,
Go to church with me, say we were meant to be, and before you explore my body you must understand my values and insecurities.
Cause you say you love me.


Ladies we’ve all been the victim of love
In fact, we’ll prolly be it again
But next time that you’re cooking and cleaning and
Screaming and feening
Ladies let that man be your future husband
And not
JUST A FRIEND.

It's been two months since my last post huh?! Well...I'm NOT dead I promise! I've just been very busy with school! So much is happening in my life. Someone should have told me how bad of an idea it is to take Organic Chemistry, Physics, Immunology, Botany, Leadership in Action 401, Senior Seminar, and Regular Seminar at the same time. Yes count it up. 19 hours. I WILL SURVIVE!! lol

So far I'm passing everything, but it could be better lol. So I'e been MIA trying to stay up in the books!

I ran across this scripture, and it just made me think.

For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul.
-Mark 8:36

I can remember a few years from today, I used to wish for so much. I used to wish to change everything about my inner and outer appearance. I just wanted the opportunity to feel loved, wanted, and able to do all the things that others around me were doing and experiencing. So, I began to do man little things such as get new hairstyle, new clothing style, makeup, new friends, but in the process I almost lost the most important person, me. I woke up that day and realized sometimes it is good to be selfish. All that matters is me. My happiness. And it shouldn't involve other people's perceptions, thoughts, and wants of me.

I'm on life's rollercoaster, and no one is in the front seat but me and God. Ain't that a blessing? That's all for now! Love ya!

I got this from a message board. I thought this would be a cute challenge to have fun and educate ourselves. Type a short paragraph using these words to send to your DH/SO/BF/whoever! Let 'em know how you really feel and get their strongest muscle really aroused... (Don't forget to show us, too!)


apodyopsis (AP-oh-dy-AHP-sis)
act of mentally undressing someone

hypnerotomachia (HIP-nur-oh-tuh-MAK-ee-uh)
the struggle between sleep and sexual desire

callipygian (KAL-i-PIJ-ee-in)
having well-formed buttocks

colpocoquette (KAHL-puh-koh-KET)
woman who knows she has an attractive bosom and makes good use of its allure

basorexia
an overwhelming desire to kiss

cataglottism
kissing with the tongue; French kissing

cheiloproclitic
to be attracted to one's lips

http://users.tinyonline.co.uk/gswithenbank/unuwords.htm
^ a really good source for smart-sounding words.

Add more words if you know any!

My Story:

Your smile, Your scent, your touch. Those are the characteristics that come to mind while lying tranquil on a bolster and staid to the world. I wafted off last night and suddenly saw a silhouette of you. As the sight of your flawlessly chiseled body, gigantic hands, and enormous feet enter the room and approach my living room, my eyes suddenly drifted towards your budging biceps and I began to suffer from a bout of apodyopis.


You are such a tease. The way you pushed me against the wall and kissed me while playing in my hair stayed permanently in my mind well into the wee hours of the night where I began to fight hypernotomachia. I've always been known as a good girl, but I have always been attracted to callipygians, and you are surely one of them. Next time I see you, I will show you how cheiloprolitic I am, and no longer fight the basorexia to be as one with your succulent lips. I just hope you are attracted to colpocuqettes, because I’m hoping you take it all or nothing. Wink.

Just my pink pennies,
-Simple

I wrote this a long time ago. Just wanted to revisit.

I love her.


Yeah I said it. I'm in love with a girl. Does that make me a lesbian? I am in love with a girl named Kristen aka Krazynkute
for short. I love the way she walks in a room and all the heads turns because she brightens up the place. I love the way
she can cheer up any grieve stricken person just with a funny joke or conversation. She's so smart. She's in college, she's never
had to pay tuition a day in her life, and her gpa is just below a 3.5. Even though she is really smart, I like how she serves others.
She does a lot of volunteer work, and you don't see too many younger adults do that now. She still finds time to do a lot of extracurricular work and still be that shoulder to cry on at 4am.

She's in and out of relationship, but I've always seemed to wonder why. A lot of guys like to be around her, talk to her
and tell their girlfriends about how she's so fun to be around. Despite that, she's still single.

She's so spontaneous it scares me at times. One time she went to taco bell at 12 am just to steal a tray to decorate for her big sister while pledging. She heard that her big sis loves to eat Taco Bell, but Kristen couldn't afford to buy a big gift certificate at the time. She's that type of girl to wake up in the middle of the night and say, "Let's go play in the rain".


She's pretty cute too. She has slanted but big Chinese eyes that sparkle in the sun. She always keeps on the cutests clothes and makeup. She never brags but
she is a constant shopaholic who likes to keep herself looking nice. She always seems to have it together. Brains, kuteness, and personality. She's even the President of the Student Government Association of her university. Who else could say that, or even have the balls to run for a political position at a majorily white school.

She loves to write poetry. She's been doing it since it was the uncool thing to do. Eric Roberson and Raheem Devaugn, stay on her ipod. All her teachers hear her as she sings on her way to class. They call her Lil Miss Smiles because she always stops to say hey or help someone along the way.

She has a disability, but I've never heard her complain even though I'm around her a lot. She has cried some nights because of the pain, but she never publically cries. She doesn't want to be a burden. She wishes someone would find a cure for her disease, but she said she wouldn't change her condition for a million dollars.


She's corny but cute. Different but fly. Man. If I could I would spend the rest of my life with that girl. Oh yeah..I can. I love that girl. That girl is me.


What do you like about yourself? If you don't love yourself....who will?

“When a relationship dies do we ever really give up the ghost or are we forever haunted by the spirits of relationships past.”
-Carrie Bradshaw



And it came to me in a dream. Blindfolded I was led to a dark, lonely, and cold parking lot in the middle of the university. No sounds except the whistling of wind running through my hair and the sound of skin to skin contact as my tiny anemic frame struggled to stay warm against his army suit.

"Open your eyes." I heard being whispered in my ear. Once they opened I wished they would close again because I could no longer stop the tears running down my cheeks. My first Valentine's Day. No one in the past had ever even given it a thought. Now I was a mother haha. I inherited a 4 foot bear later named "Nichi" because I was his "Sun" and "Moon".

Chocolate was everywhere and 5 balloons were wrapped around Nichi's tiny hand (while he was strapped in his seatbelt for safety of course). The 5 balloons represented the 5th of December when we decided to be official. A golden chain was wrapped around my arm because we had a bond that would forever be locked together. So true in more ways than one. I wrapped my tiny arms around his neck, leaned in, then everything paused.


The dream began fast forward, rewind, and focused... The 5 balloons kept in a tiny leather box were burned. The chocolate box was destroyed and tossed around like the supposedly strong bond that we once shared, and the bracelet was given away like the time we spent over the years that was wasted. The look in Nichi's eyes were soo innocent that I couldn't bear (pun haha) to depart from him for despite I erased "him" from my past... I was still the "Sun" and "Moon". Like them I was still timeless and untouchable with a dark side that is rarely seen by everyone. Anyway, I locked Nichi in our storage room (as well as my heart temporarily), and I haven't loved like I once loved before finding either of them since.


Some people are always haunted by the ghost of relationships' past.
But some people are smart and let it free.
I wonder if I will be the latter one day
Or confined to my own past and insecurities?

To be continued.....

I can't believe the WHOLE friggin summer is over! I've just been tryna shop for a few new items to add to my wardrobe :-/ It's not going along as well as I would like loool. Here are a few things I picked up though. These are just various acessories. I put myself on a budget of $200, so all the things combined is so far less than $200. Thank God for Marshalls, TJMaxx, and Back to School Sales!! I need to get out to Hudsons, Half of Half, anf some mroe thrift stores to find some good dorm room decoration ideas!! TTYL

I'm loving this site!

The Style Sample

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Meet Laura Izibor. She's my new music crush! Her debut single was "From My Heart to Yours" in 2008, and she's been recording and blowing up ever since then. I think she is so beautiful. She has striking facial features, and I'm loving her style. Check her out!

Like I said earlier, I'm trying to get into the hang of applying makeup. I've always loved to play in makeup, but haha I've never been very good at it. I've been playing a lot more lately though.

In the previous colors I told yall, my fave colors are Pink, Purple, and Green. I was initiated into Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority in November 2008, so I can't hate on the green. I will always look PRETTY in my pink and GORGEOUS in my green while serving all of mankind in numerous community service projects. So this look is my dedication to Alpha Kappa Alpha. I messed up (I look too red!), but hey life is all about trying over and over again right?

Foundation: Mary Kay 607 Medium Coverage
Concealer: Black Radiance Concealer Stick in Medium
Lipgloss: Black Radiance Whisper Pink
Blush: Black Radiance Plum Sorbet
Eyes: HIP Shocking Shadow Pigment in Fiery Pink and Rebel Green
Brushes: Essence of Beauty Deluxe Duo Set

My nickname used to be KrazynKute. I've had it all of my technology based life haha. After awhile, things got old, and I changed my name to SimplyKomplex (or SimpleKomplexity)

If you look back on your life, you tend to notice many things that you never realized along the path. I know I can say that. When I look back I often think of rain and thunderstorms, but I rarely remember the rainbow that immediately follows. Funny huh?

2 Years ago....2007. 19 years old , in college, and loving it, I was in the midst of starting new parts of my life, and ending many others.

Love Life- I had just broken up with my boyfriend. My first one at that. He cheated on me with his fiance...and then cheated on both of us with a girl on campus. In the love traingle..(or rectangle) I could never see the clear points. Only curved corners. I continued to blame myself. I wished he would come back. I had it embedded in my mind that I deserved his mistreating, and despite his flaws I could change him and we could be together forever. He would be the only one, therefore I had to make the best of it.

Almost 2 years later, I look back and laugh at the times we had. What's changed? No longer do I look at my recollections with tear-drizzled sunglasses on. I see it all. I see his flaws (as well as my own) and his perfections. I have come to realize that no one deserves to be mistreated regardless of color, beauty, intellect, disability, and etc. But the person mistreated does deserve to stick up for themself and know when it's time to leave.

Happiness- A million posts have been made about the tears I have cried alone in my room. Surrounded by so many people, I always felt alone. Although, I'm not fully there, now I have realized that it is not "You against the world." It's not the pretty vs the ugly. Life is not a story of Beauty and the Beast. Disability factors should be thrown out the window because a disability is a state of mind. With all the unecessary factors thrown out, the most important one is more evident. Yourself. Sounds selfish but Me, Me, Me is the key to my happiness. Nothing more nothing less.

Words on disability- I wrote as a freshman that "I would never change the fact that I have a disability [it has helped me see the world from many perspectives and dimensions that others will never see]. Rejoicefully....that has not changed although it has yo yoed a lot throughout the past 2 years. I have come to a point of my life that I am who I am and no one can take that away from me. I walk with a limp, slowly at that, posture surgically perfect, but despite all of this, when I enter the room my head is always high and my presence is always known. And everyone has that ability. Disability or not.

Comfort- I can say I'm comfortable now. Maybe I should change my name to "Comforter" for REAL now...for other reasons. It took a long time....but I realize that materialistic things don't make me. Surprisingly I already knew that. I remember I used to walk into stores and everytime I tried on clothes I asked myself, "Does this help me look normal?" I wanted to fit in. Really high heels, makeup, and thousands of dollars later lol, I finally realized WHO THE HECK WANTS TO BE NORMAL ANYWAY?

I can walk into a place...and not wonder if everyone is watching me. (Who cares if they are?) I can treat myself (alone) to a good book, manicure, meal, movie, or etc (and not say say it's "stupid or boring") (This is a work in progress too though lool) And it's all about being comfortable with yourself. You are who you are. I no longer want to "reinvent" myself because....then...I wouldn't be...myself. And I for a fact no she's one of the most beautiful people on the inside (and a lot of the times on the out too haha) [conceited moment]

This blog could continue and continue. Just remember the most important thing. 2 years changes a lot. Life is all about change, and if you can look back and notice you haven't changed at all...you're doing something wrong. Hopefully that change is for the good.

Flaws are still evident within myself. I admit, sometimes I look at my posts and cringe lol. But, I try to no longer give them attention...I focus on the positive and some kind of the way...I guess the flaws get lonely and fade into the background. But anyway....


KrazynKute...Where is she now? She is still right here...just Simply more Komplex. The same song, but a different tune and new rules to the game.

I'm still working on this whole makeup thing haha. Shoutouts to ThePerfectScore!! She is an awesome Youtuber for makeup tutorials and a LOT more! Here's her link: http://theperfectscore-zia.blogspot.com/

My fave colors are Purple and Pink. I often add green to that collection for various reasons, but mostly, I love everything purple and pink. Because of that I decided to try a Pink and Purple FOTD. It is very very basic for now, because haha I suck with all things makeup.

I tried to create a subtle change from pink to light purple/pink to dark purple. Empasis is on the eyes and the lips are slightly downplayed.

I used:
Blush- MAC Sweet as Cocoa
Ligloss- Some Juicy Loreal Color (sorry)
Eyeshadow: HIP High Intensity Pigment Fiery Pink, and HIP Duos (Only the purple shadows) Flamboyant, and Wicked
Mascara- Covergirl's LashExact

Enuff words! Time for the pics!!

I claimed I wasn't gonna buy anything when I went out but of course I lied. I have been looking for a new fragrance. Gotta continue to make the boyz go LOCO. haha. I decided on this L.A.M.B. scent since it was only $20! Couldn't beat it! I LOVE the scent and it's not a toillete spray, It's Eau de Parfum! YAY!! Hopefully it'll stay on for awhile. We'll see.

It's 11:00 PM. I got in 15 minutes ago. My mom called me at 10:30 pm. She knew exactly where I was and who I was with. I was with the same guy. Him, his dad, and his friend picked me up. We went to his house. She called, and when I told her I was on my way home, she hung up in my face. (Side note: she told me it did not look right for me to be in the car with 5 other males. I told her it was 3 and one of them was the guy's father. She told me that is not ladylike at all.)

She really irritates me to high heavens. I guess because I am "a girl" I should be confined to my house and "home before dark". I had more freedom in hgih school, and that's saying a lot because I couldn't do anything in high school unless it was school related.

I really thinks it boils down to the sex thing. I got into it with her in January about I was on birth control therefore I MUST be having sex. Now everytime I'm out with a boy, she thinks I'm possibly having sex with that person. Especially if I am with them after dark. Oh and I'm a ho. I'ma be preggo soon I guess lol.

I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. If I stay in the house all day and stay on the computer I am "depressed". If I am not depressed I'm not doing anything constructive with my life. BUT she doesn't want me to get a summer job. She wants me to relax. If I go out everyday, she says I'm being "fast in the streets" and that's not ladylike.

If I stay in all day, I need to get out more. If I'm on the phone she feels is necessary to give me relationship tips. You know the ones she should have given to me growing up nto when I am 21 years old and have my own paradigm about the world.

I wish I could scream to her. I'm making good grades. I'm not having sex. Been abstinent for 7 months. Plan on keeping it that way until I'm in along term committed relationship. I'm not doing anything illegal. I don't think... lol Anyway, Not doing anything I shouldn't be doing. I am 21. I respect her wishes, but I am an adult. I should have the right for her to trust me and know that she raised me right and I will come in a decent hour and uphold the morals she taught me growing up. But I am unfortunately a 4'4.5 child. I have no say.

And she wonders why I don't come home often. Maybe once every 2 months. When I leave July 31, she prolly won't see me til Labor Day. Just being honest.

I was talking to an associate .... I am totally convinced that all children with disabilities until the age of 25 need psychiatric help to build the way they see themselves because so many negative people around them will demolish what any self respect and dignity they have for yourself.

I mean how can you feel beautiful when people are always asking you dumb arse questions like, "Do you pee in a diaper?" , "Why do you look like that," and "Dang, that means you can't have sex huh?" comes at you daily."

Or you know the others who stare at me like I'm Paris Hilton while I'm doing something simple like at Wal-Mart. That's society for ya. Well excuse me, this represents some people of society with no home training. I could easily be a celeb, cuz I'm treated like one now. Random people take camera pics of me walking, and point and tell their friends I'm a midget. lool. Or come up to me and ask me how old am I since I look like 16.

Back to the point. I have not met not ONE girl with the disability I have (which is mild) or more severe that does not have self-image issues. I do have a better perspective than some others I must agree. This girl told me I talk so confidently. I am so jovial most of the time and don't seem to be affected by a disability.

But behind the confidence, she told me I must realize that the disability is there. Society definately knows it's there. Therefore, I can think very highly of myself, but what it boils down to is how society thinks of you. Society wants you to live in a bubble of seperation and unhappiness. It sets boundaries and rules for you that it doesn't want you to conform. Society doesn't expect for you to get more than a high school diploma if that. Society tells you one thing such as disabled peopke have every right to live a normal life, but then gives you hell when you get up off ya *** and try to get a job or decent housing. It's just rediculous. It's just a cruel world for a girl with a disability seeking normality. By this time I had heard enough. I can't life, she makes good points, but I told her D.A.M.N society. SOCIETY Doesn't Affect My Normality (or normalacy).

Part of my line name is O.B.A.M.A. Stands for Overcoming Boundaries and Making Aspirations. (Yeah I have the best line name in the world.) Overcoming boundaries is exactly what I do, and it's a rule we should all follow. Life has no boundaries. It is only full of the boundaries you have made and suppressed yourself with.

Society can kiss my wheelchair tires. I have my slip ups, but I had to bury society a loooong time ago. It hold a person back. You should feel the same. Don't allow yourself to be a statistic. Don't let society set the "rules" of your life. Make your own statistics and rules. Go above and beyond your dreams.

Yeah it's a dream that I live in that one of these days disability advocacy will be efficient and their will be more opportunities for those who are disabled to live their lives to the fullest of their ability.

But, If you don't have a dream, how you gonna make a dream come true?

Just another story of my dad lol

Dad to my mom: "Bev, Why the heck did Michael name that little boy Blanket"

Me: "You don't like that name? Why wouldn't someone their child Blanket?"

Daddy: ".....Alright. I'ma start calling you Comforter and see how you like it"

FAST FORWARD TO TODAY

Dad: "COMFORTER!!........COMFORTER!!!! Comforter, Where the heck did you go?! Come crack these windows in this car in this heat before you break something I got to pay for!

**Neighbors looking krazy**

Dad: "Kris. I mean Comforter. My point exactly"

July 4th was a HAWT and HOTT day! I was looking for a very natural but soft look.  I usually love bright colors, but I wanted to do something different. I wanted to play up on my eyes, but look very natural (almost plain jane). I think I did good!  I used: