Friday, November 28, 2008

Artifical Happiness

I'm not gonna lie. I spend money cuz I think that one day it will make me happy. When I buy clothes I imagine how beautiful I will look in it and how much better I will feel to look kute in that fit. I buy materialistic t hings when I make a bad/good grade on a test or even if things are not going my way.

I imagine that buying this item will make life just a little bit better. But tell me when is it gonna stop? If not now, how will I be able to balance and apartment/house? How will I be able to be an adult? How will I be able to be happy without materialistic things?

WHERE THE HELL AM I GONNA PUT ALL OF THIS STUFF!!
Well, I'm making a list now on how I can achieve to overcome this problem....hopefully it works. Cuz I really do want to break free from all these materialistic items. I am more than clothes, shoes, purses, and makeup. I am beautiful

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Just One Step out of the Penny Jar

Happy Thanksgiving to all!!

I can't believe I will be 21 in about a month and a half. I can still remember the post it notes on the fridge to remind my mom that I would be seven in 14 days so I would technically be a big girl. Krazy to think that now, I am actually a "big girl" and coming closer to adulthood. My junior year in college. I can't believe that soon I will be graduating and hopefully entering Dentistry school....but if I ever intend to get there I hope I have the strength to change

I find it sooo hard to learn from my mistakes. It's been a year since finally taking a stand in my last relationship, but I'm still attached to him. I feel like I'm carrying him on my back each and every day, and I can never shake "that monkey" off.

My Procrastination and Organization is getting worse. You know it's scary to think that I might not get to a 3.5 before a graduate. I'm close now, but it doesn't seem like I have the endurance to make it to the finish line. I've given up on a lot, maybe because of lack fo dedication. I'm just not emotionally there.

I looked at my credit card statement this month. It was a blessing that I was able to save enough to pay my car note for the next 5 months..... Now I'm wondering will I have enough to even pay in January...not including gas. I try to buy happiness. I spend hundreds on clothes, shoes, purses, food, etc. Anything to make "me" happy. Now I know that this isn't true, and happiness is heartfelt, but at least its temporary. I don't have a plan to get back on track, but I do realize my problems. Hopefully my new year's resolution will be to straighten up and change my life around. One step at a time.