I am krazy about this boy. He is sooo sweet. I just look @ him from afar now, but his personality is so on point. He's not my typical type, but he always keeps me smilin. I found out both of his parents are disabled. He touched me when he said his dad was his hero, because he never let having a disability get him down. He's real chill with me, and he picks up on my vibes, but nevertheless he holds back from me. I really wish he wouldn't.
I really hate that. You know society tells you to love yourself, you're sufficient, and be happy, but that's not the actions it shows you day by day. People tell me all the time, that people with disabilities are people too, but they don't actually believe it. I might have the most wonderful personality, but something can keep him away. I might be the perfect mother for your kids in your eyes, but to you I'm just a person with "bad genes". You might be krazy about me...but there is just something you can't put your finger on that makes me not your type. And no matter who disagrees, I will probably never change my opinion.
Society is full of it. Or maybe I have just crossed the border of anger. How am I supposed to look in the mirror and see beauty, when media is telling me otherwise. My crooked legs from 15 broken bones are not beauty. My 4'4 frame is freakishly different--and not beauty. My Jay Leno jaw is not a symbol a beauty, and the limp and so sexily swag is not beauty to most. So what are people like me supposed to think when they look in the mirror? That they're an exception to this beauty standard. They might think it, but don't expect anyone else to.
I think all men are dogs, and most would probably tell me that these thoughts will get me no where in a relationship. *shrugs* Doesn't seem like any will be coming along anyway. lol I'm not even going to lie and say I'm cool with that. I'm not. But I'll tolerate it, because what else can I do?
Truth hurts.
Well aside from my personal rant, everything is going well. I'm passing all my classes....with C's :(. This is my last day of school til Monday thank God. I will get much rest, and take times to just be me. Love ya!
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