This is a repost from an older blog...but I looked back on it...and love it even more today...

I love her.


Yeah I said it. I'm in love with a girl. Does that make me a lesbian? I am in love with a girl named Kristen aka Krazynkute
for short. I love the way she walks in a room and all the heads turns because she brightens up the place. I love the way
she can cheer up any grieve stricken person just with a funny joke or conversation. She's so smart. She's in college, she's never
had to pay tuition a day in her life, and her gpa is just below a 3.5. Even though she is really smart, I like how she serves others.
She does a lot of volunteer work, and you don't see too many younger adults do that now. She still finds time to do a lot of extracurricular work and still be that shoulder to cry on at 4am.

She's in and out of relationship, but I've always seemed to wonder why. A lot of guys like to be around her, talk to her
and tell their girlfriends about how she's so fun to be around. Despite that, she's still single.

She's so spontaneous it scares me at times. One time she went to taco bell at 12 am just to steal a tray to decorate for her big sister while pledging. She heard that her big sis loves to eat Taco Bell, but Kristen couldn't afford to buy a big gift certificate at the time. She's that type of girl to wake up in the middle of the night and say, "Let's go play in the rain".


She's pretty cute too. She has slanted but big Chinese eyes that sparkle in the sun. She always keeps on the cutests clothes and makeup. She never brags but
she is a constant shopaholic who likes to keep herself looking nice. She always seems to have it together. Brains, kuteness, and personality. She's even the President of the Student Government Association of her university. Who else could say that, or even have the balls to run for a political position at a majorily white school.

She loves to write poetry. She's been doing it since it was the uncool thing to do. Eric Roberson and Raheem Devaugn, stay on her ipod. All her teachers hear her as she sings on her way to class. They call her Lil Miss Smiles because she always stops to say hey or help someone along the way.

She has a disability, but I've never heard her complain even though I'm around her a lot. She has cried some nights because of the pain, but she never publically cries. She doesn't want to be a burden. She wishes someone would find a cure for her disease, but she said she wouldn't change her condition for a million dollars.


She's corny but cute. Different but fly. Man. If I could I would spend the rest of my life with that girl. Oh yeah..I can. I love that girl. That girl is me.


What do you like about yourself? If you don't love yourself....who will?

It's raining right. Dim lights, music softly playing in the background of my car driving down the highway. Tears dripping down like a faulty water faucet, eyes big as saucers, but heart caramelized, hard as rock. So then he calls. "Turn around. Kris sweetie turn around. Talk to me" So now he's racing to catch up with me, but can never catch up, to my heart that is.

Turn around means letting down my guard and the decision to keep going means to keep my guard up, but be sadly disappointed. Decisions Decisions...

And the story is to be continued....

So let's play a little catch up.

I have a new boo, sadly he doesn't make my "Bedrock." I love the person he is. I love the gentleman he is. He is so kind, so sweet, such a gentleman. He respects my wishes and dreams, supports me in all my endeavors, BUT one thing holds me back from giving my all and my heart to him. He is boring. I'm so spontaneous, so outgoing, so out there and with him I just keep "playing it safe." I think I needed to meet him in my life to understand how I want and will learn in the future to demand how to be treated. My new boo wherever he may be will open my doors, call me just because, go to church with me, genuinely love me, and be a man because I am his girl.

But for right now, I think I just want my single life back. Sorry.

I feel bad because I didn't figure this out until AFTER we got together. It's been a week and I just know it won't work sadly. We don't have much in common other than intelligence and we just don't click. Sad, but oh so true. I'm not even physically attracted to him. It's bad when you don't even want to kiss your own boyfriend. At the end of the day I fell in love with his behavior, but not him. That's a bad place to be. But we all learn from out mistakes right?

I hate that I waited until my last year to let people know of my talents, but hey whatever goes. I actually wrote thsi poem to dedicate it to a guy that absolutely gave me the run around. Acted like he loved me. Told me the words, but his actions didn't speak the same. And I followed him like a lil puppy dog lol, until I finally saw through the fog and realized I'm not an average chick and shouldn't be treated as such. I had to kick him out my world, but not before he heard this poem.... Enjoy

He says he loves me.
He’ll say it tomorrow
Cuz he’s said it before…but
He only confesses his love behind closed doors…and
Like a vampire by day our love is no more…but
He says he loves me

See this is the story of a million and two
When you love a man
But he does NOT love you
But he loves the idea that he sees on youtube
He’s just looking for a victim and that victim is you

He told you
We’re just friends
But if yall just friends
Why are you treating him like like ya husband
His clothes in your closet, You cooking his meals
Ironing his clothes, help paying his bills
And for dessert you give him a lil cookie just to seal the deal
Cuz that man love you

See ladies we need to wake up and face the reality
That we deserve a relationship that will last for eternity
And when he claims that this relationship is
Just between you and me
That’s really him saying that he doesn’t value
Your love, your mind, or your intimacy

Then ya feelings hurt way down the line
Cuz you were playing wifey and avoided the signs
Like when he gave you that played out line
And one day told you what’s yours is mine
But when you need him he can’t even give you time of day.


But still you want to go steady
But unlike R. Kelly
It don’t seem like he’s ready…but

He’s ready for sexing and texting and rubbing you up and
Calling you at 3 o clock in the morning
Just to say what’s up
But this man loves you

But reality speaks to me and says he loves you not
Cuz “yall just friends”
Which means he’s not your man
Or have you forgot
And he just want eff every girl in the world
And girl you ain't special
And you just happened to be Tuesday’s girl.


See a man loves a woman with boundaries
That doesn’t beat around the bush
To tell that brother how to please
Her..like
Open my car doors, call me your boo,
Go to church with me, say we were meant to be, and before you explore my body you must understand my values and insecurities.
Cause you say you love me.


Ladies we’ve all been the victim of love
In fact, we’ll prolly be it again
But next time that you’re cooking and cleaning and
Screaming and feening
Ladies let that man be your future husband
And not
JUST A FRIEND.

It's been two months since my last post huh?! Well...I'm NOT dead I promise! I've just been very busy with school! So much is happening in my life. Someone should have told me how bad of an idea it is to take Organic Chemistry, Physics, Immunology, Botany, Leadership in Action 401, Senior Seminar, and Regular Seminar at the same time. Yes count it up. 19 hours. I WILL SURVIVE!! lol

So far I'm passing everything, but it could be better lol. So I'e been MIA trying to stay up in the books!

I ran across this scripture, and it just made me think.

For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul.
-Mark 8:36

I can remember a few years from today, I used to wish for so much. I used to wish to change everything about my inner and outer appearance. I just wanted the opportunity to feel loved, wanted, and able to do all the things that others around me were doing and experiencing. So, I began to do man little things such as get new hairstyle, new clothing style, makeup, new friends, but in the process I almost lost the most important person, me. I woke up that day and realized sometimes it is good to be selfish. All that matters is me. My happiness. And it shouldn't involve other people's perceptions, thoughts, and wants of me.

I'm on life's rollercoaster, and no one is in the front seat but me and God. Ain't that a blessing? That's all for now! Love ya!

I got this from a message board. I thought this would be a cute challenge to have fun and educate ourselves. Type a short paragraph using these words to send to your DH/SO/BF/whoever! Let 'em know how you really feel and get their strongest muscle really aroused... (Don't forget to show us, too!)


apodyopsis (AP-oh-dy-AHP-sis)
act of mentally undressing someone

hypnerotomachia (HIP-nur-oh-tuh-MAK-ee-uh)
the struggle between sleep and sexual desire

callipygian (KAL-i-PIJ-ee-in)
having well-formed buttocks

colpocoquette (KAHL-puh-koh-KET)
woman who knows she has an attractive bosom and makes good use of its allure

basorexia
an overwhelming desire to kiss

cataglottism
kissing with the tongue; French kissing

cheiloproclitic
to be attracted to one's lips

http://users.tinyonline.co.uk/gswithenbank/unuwords.htm
^ a really good source for smart-sounding words.

Add more words if you know any!

My Story:

Your smile, Your scent, your touch. Those are the characteristics that come to mind while lying tranquil on a bolster and staid to the world. I wafted off last night and suddenly saw a silhouette of you. As the sight of your flawlessly chiseled body, gigantic hands, and enormous feet enter the room and approach my living room, my eyes suddenly drifted towards your budging biceps and I began to suffer from a bout of apodyopis.


You are such a tease. The way you pushed me against the wall and kissed me while playing in my hair stayed permanently in my mind well into the wee hours of the night where I began to fight hypernotomachia. I've always been known as a good girl, but I have always been attracted to callipygians, and you are surely one of them. Next time I see you, I will show you how cheiloprolitic I am, and no longer fight the basorexia to be as one with your succulent lips. I just hope you are attracted to colpocuqettes, because I’m hoping you take it all or nothing. Wink.

Just my pink pennies,
-Simple

I wrote this a long time ago. Just wanted to revisit.

I love her.


Yeah I said it. I'm in love with a girl. Does that make me a lesbian? I am in love with a girl named Kristen aka Krazynkute
for short. I love the way she walks in a room and all the heads turns because she brightens up the place. I love the way
she can cheer up any grieve stricken person just with a funny joke or conversation. She's so smart. She's in college, she's never
had to pay tuition a day in her life, and her gpa is just below a 3.5. Even though she is really smart, I like how she serves others.
She does a lot of volunteer work, and you don't see too many younger adults do that now. She still finds time to do a lot of extracurricular work and still be that shoulder to cry on at 4am.

She's in and out of relationship, but I've always seemed to wonder why. A lot of guys like to be around her, talk to her
and tell their girlfriends about how she's so fun to be around. Despite that, she's still single.

She's so spontaneous it scares me at times. One time she went to taco bell at 12 am just to steal a tray to decorate for her big sister while pledging. She heard that her big sis loves to eat Taco Bell, but Kristen couldn't afford to buy a big gift certificate at the time. She's that type of girl to wake up in the middle of the night and say, "Let's go play in the rain".


She's pretty cute too. She has slanted but big Chinese eyes that sparkle in the sun. She always keeps on the cutests clothes and makeup. She never brags but
she is a constant shopaholic who likes to keep herself looking nice. She always seems to have it together. Brains, kuteness, and personality. She's even the President of the Student Government Association of her university. Who else could say that, or even have the balls to run for a political position at a majorily white school.

She loves to write poetry. She's been doing it since it was the uncool thing to do. Eric Roberson and Raheem Devaugn, stay on her ipod. All her teachers hear her as she sings on her way to class. They call her Lil Miss Smiles because she always stops to say hey or help someone along the way.

She has a disability, but I've never heard her complain even though I'm around her a lot. She has cried some nights because of the pain, but she never publically cries. She doesn't want to be a burden. She wishes someone would find a cure for her disease, but she said she wouldn't change her condition for a million dollars.


She's corny but cute. Different but fly. Man. If I could I would spend the rest of my life with that girl. Oh yeah..I can. I love that girl. That girl is me.


What do you like about yourself? If you don't love yourself....who will?

“When a relationship dies do we ever really give up the ghost or are we forever haunted by the spirits of relationships past.”
-Carrie Bradshaw



And it came to me in a dream. Blindfolded I was led to a dark, lonely, and cold parking lot in the middle of the university. No sounds except the whistling of wind running through my hair and the sound of skin to skin contact as my tiny anemic frame struggled to stay warm against his army suit.

"Open your eyes." I heard being whispered in my ear. Once they opened I wished they would close again because I could no longer stop the tears running down my cheeks. My first Valentine's Day. No one in the past had ever even given it a thought. Now I was a mother haha. I inherited a 4 foot bear later named "Nichi" because I was his "Sun" and "Moon".

Chocolate was everywhere and 5 balloons were wrapped around Nichi's tiny hand (while he was strapped in his seatbelt for safety of course). The 5 balloons represented the 5th of December when we decided to be official. A golden chain was wrapped around my arm because we had a bond that would forever be locked together. So true in more ways than one. I wrapped my tiny arms around his neck, leaned in, then everything paused.


The dream began fast forward, rewind, and focused... The 5 balloons kept in a tiny leather box were burned. The chocolate box was destroyed and tossed around like the supposedly strong bond that we once shared, and the bracelet was given away like the time we spent over the years that was wasted. The look in Nichi's eyes were soo innocent that I couldn't bear (pun haha) to depart from him for despite I erased "him" from my past... I was still the "Sun" and "Moon". Like them I was still timeless and untouchable with a dark side that is rarely seen by everyone. Anyway, I locked Nichi in our storage room (as well as my heart temporarily), and I haven't loved like I once loved before finding either of them since.


Some people are always haunted by the ghost of relationships' past.
But some people are smart and let it free.
I wonder if I will be the latter one day
Or confined to my own past and insecurities?

To be continued.....

I can't believe the WHOLE friggin summer is over! I've just been tryna shop for a few new items to add to my wardrobe :-/ It's not going along as well as I would like loool. Here are a few things I picked up though. These are just various acessories. I put myself on a budget of $200, so all the things combined is so far less than $200. Thank God for Marshalls, TJMaxx, and Back to School Sales!! I need to get out to Hudsons, Half of Half, anf some mroe thrift stores to find some good dorm room decoration ideas!! TTYL

I'm loving this site!

The Style Sample

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Meet Laura Izibor. She's my new music crush! Her debut single was "From My Heart to Yours" in 2008, and she's been recording and blowing up ever since then. I think she is so beautiful. She has striking facial features, and I'm loving her style. Check her out!

Like I said earlier, I'm trying to get into the hang of applying makeup. I've always loved to play in makeup, but haha I've never been very good at it. I've been playing a lot more lately though.

In the previous colors I told yall, my fave colors are Pink, Purple, and Green. I was initiated into Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority in November 2008, so I can't hate on the green. I will always look PRETTY in my pink and GORGEOUS in my green while serving all of mankind in numerous community service projects. So this look is my dedication to Alpha Kappa Alpha. I messed up (I look too red!), but hey life is all about trying over and over again right?

Foundation: Mary Kay 607 Medium Coverage
Concealer: Black Radiance Concealer Stick in Medium
Lipgloss: Black Radiance Whisper Pink
Blush: Black Radiance Plum Sorbet
Eyes: HIP Shocking Shadow Pigment in Fiery Pink and Rebel Green
Brushes: Essence of Beauty Deluxe Duo Set

My nickname used to be KrazynKute. I've had it all of my technology based life haha. After awhile, things got old, and I changed my name to SimplyKomplex (or SimpleKomplexity)

If you look back on your life, you tend to notice many things that you never realized along the path. I know I can say that. When I look back I often think of rain and thunderstorms, but I rarely remember the rainbow that immediately follows. Funny huh?

2 Years ago....2007. 19 years old , in college, and loving it, I was in the midst of starting new parts of my life, and ending many others.

Love Life- I had just broken up with my boyfriend. My first one at that. He cheated on me with his fiance...and then cheated on both of us with a girl on campus. In the love traingle..(or rectangle) I could never see the clear points. Only curved corners. I continued to blame myself. I wished he would come back. I had it embedded in my mind that I deserved his mistreating, and despite his flaws I could change him and we could be together forever. He would be the only one, therefore I had to make the best of it.

Almost 2 years later, I look back and laugh at the times we had. What's changed? No longer do I look at my recollections with tear-drizzled sunglasses on. I see it all. I see his flaws (as well as my own) and his perfections. I have come to realize that no one deserves to be mistreated regardless of color, beauty, intellect, disability, and etc. But the person mistreated does deserve to stick up for themself and know when it's time to leave.

Happiness- A million posts have been made about the tears I have cried alone in my room. Surrounded by so many people, I always felt alone. Although, I'm not fully there, now I have realized that it is not "You against the world." It's not the pretty vs the ugly. Life is not a story of Beauty and the Beast. Disability factors should be thrown out the window because a disability is a state of mind. With all the unecessary factors thrown out, the most important one is more evident. Yourself. Sounds selfish but Me, Me, Me is the key to my happiness. Nothing more nothing less.

Words on disability- I wrote as a freshman that "I would never change the fact that I have a disability [it has helped me see the world from many perspectives and dimensions that others will never see]. Rejoicefully....that has not changed although it has yo yoed a lot throughout the past 2 years. I have come to a point of my life that I am who I am and no one can take that away from me. I walk with a limp, slowly at that, posture surgically perfect, but despite all of this, when I enter the room my head is always high and my presence is always known. And everyone has that ability. Disability or not.

Comfort- I can say I'm comfortable now. Maybe I should change my name to "Comforter" for REAL now...for other reasons. It took a long time....but I realize that materialistic things don't make me. Surprisingly I already knew that. I remember I used to walk into stores and everytime I tried on clothes I asked myself, "Does this help me look normal?" I wanted to fit in. Really high heels, makeup, and thousands of dollars later lol, I finally realized WHO THE HECK WANTS TO BE NORMAL ANYWAY?

I can walk into a place...and not wonder if everyone is watching me. (Who cares if they are?) I can treat myself (alone) to a good book, manicure, meal, movie, or etc (and not say say it's "stupid or boring") (This is a work in progress too though lool) And it's all about being comfortable with yourself. You are who you are. I no longer want to "reinvent" myself because....then...I wouldn't be...myself. And I for a fact no she's one of the most beautiful people on the inside (and a lot of the times on the out too haha) [conceited moment]

This blog could continue and continue. Just remember the most important thing. 2 years changes a lot. Life is all about change, and if you can look back and notice you haven't changed at all...you're doing something wrong. Hopefully that change is for the good.

Flaws are still evident within myself. I admit, sometimes I look at my posts and cringe lol. But, I try to no longer give them attention...I focus on the positive and some kind of the way...I guess the flaws get lonely and fade into the background. But anyway....


KrazynKute...Where is she now? She is still right here...just Simply more Komplex. The same song, but a different tune and new rules to the game.

I'm still working on this whole makeup thing haha. Shoutouts to ThePerfectScore!! She is an awesome Youtuber for makeup tutorials and a LOT more! Here's her link: http://theperfectscore-zia.blogspot.com/

My fave colors are Purple and Pink. I often add green to that collection for various reasons, but mostly, I love everything purple and pink. Because of that I decided to try a Pink and Purple FOTD. It is very very basic for now, because haha I suck with all things makeup.

I tried to create a subtle change from pink to light purple/pink to dark purple. Empasis is on the eyes and the lips are slightly downplayed.

I used:
Blush- MAC Sweet as Cocoa
Ligloss- Some Juicy Loreal Color (sorry)
Eyeshadow: HIP High Intensity Pigment Fiery Pink, and HIP Duos (Only the purple shadows) Flamboyant, and Wicked
Mascara- Covergirl's LashExact

Enuff words! Time for the pics!!

I claimed I wasn't gonna buy anything when I went out but of course I lied. I have been looking for a new fragrance. Gotta continue to make the boyz go LOCO. haha. I decided on this L.A.M.B. scent since it was only $20! Couldn't beat it! I LOVE the scent and it's not a toillete spray, It's Eau de Parfum! YAY!! Hopefully it'll stay on for awhile. We'll see.

It's 11:00 PM. I got in 15 minutes ago. My mom called me at 10:30 pm. She knew exactly where I was and who I was with. I was with the same guy. Him, his dad, and his friend picked me up. We went to his house. She called, and when I told her I was on my way home, she hung up in my face. (Side note: she told me it did not look right for me to be in the car with 5 other males. I told her it was 3 and one of them was the guy's father. She told me that is not ladylike at all.)

She really irritates me to high heavens. I guess because I am "a girl" I should be confined to my house and "home before dark". I had more freedom in hgih school, and that's saying a lot because I couldn't do anything in high school unless it was school related.

I really thinks it boils down to the sex thing. I got into it with her in January about I was on birth control therefore I MUST be having sex. Now everytime I'm out with a boy, she thinks I'm possibly having sex with that person. Especially if I am with them after dark. Oh and I'm a ho. I'ma be preggo soon I guess lol.

I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. If I stay in the house all day and stay on the computer I am "depressed". If I am not depressed I'm not doing anything constructive with my life. BUT she doesn't want me to get a summer job. She wants me to relax. If I go out everyday, she says I'm being "fast in the streets" and that's not ladylike.

If I stay in all day, I need to get out more. If I'm on the phone she feels is necessary to give me relationship tips. You know the ones she should have given to me growing up nto when I am 21 years old and have my own paradigm about the world.

I wish I could scream to her. I'm making good grades. I'm not having sex. Been abstinent for 7 months. Plan on keeping it that way until I'm in along term committed relationship. I'm not doing anything illegal. I don't think... lol Anyway, Not doing anything I shouldn't be doing. I am 21. I respect her wishes, but I am an adult. I should have the right for her to trust me and know that she raised me right and I will come in a decent hour and uphold the morals she taught me growing up. But I am unfortunately a 4'4.5 child. I have no say.

And she wonders why I don't come home often. Maybe once every 2 months. When I leave July 31, she prolly won't see me til Labor Day. Just being honest.

I was talking to an associate .... I am totally convinced that all children with disabilities until the age of 25 need psychiatric help to build the way they see themselves because so many negative people around them will demolish what any self respect and dignity they have for yourself.

I mean how can you feel beautiful when people are always asking you dumb arse questions like, "Do you pee in a diaper?" , "Why do you look like that," and "Dang, that means you can't have sex huh?" comes at you daily."

Or you know the others who stare at me like I'm Paris Hilton while I'm doing something simple like at Wal-Mart. That's society for ya. Well excuse me, this represents some people of society with no home training. I could easily be a celeb, cuz I'm treated like one now. Random people take camera pics of me walking, and point and tell their friends I'm a midget. lool. Or come up to me and ask me how old am I since I look like 16.

Back to the point. I have not met not ONE girl with the disability I have (which is mild) or more severe that does not have self-image issues. I do have a better perspective than some others I must agree. This girl told me I talk so confidently. I am so jovial most of the time and don't seem to be affected by a disability.

But behind the confidence, she told me I must realize that the disability is there. Society definately knows it's there. Therefore, I can think very highly of myself, but what it boils down to is how society thinks of you. Society wants you to live in a bubble of seperation and unhappiness. It sets boundaries and rules for you that it doesn't want you to conform. Society doesn't expect for you to get more than a high school diploma if that. Society tells you one thing such as disabled peopke have every right to live a normal life, but then gives you hell when you get up off ya *** and try to get a job or decent housing. It's just rediculous. It's just a cruel world for a girl with a disability seeking normality. By this time I had heard enough. I can't life, she makes good points, but I told her D.A.M.N society. SOCIETY Doesn't Affect My Normality (or normalacy).

Part of my line name is O.B.A.M.A. Stands for Overcoming Boundaries and Making Aspirations. (Yeah I have the best line name in the world.) Overcoming boundaries is exactly what I do, and it's a rule we should all follow. Life has no boundaries. It is only full of the boundaries you have made and suppressed yourself with.

Society can kiss my wheelchair tires. I have my slip ups, but I had to bury society a loooong time ago. It hold a person back. You should feel the same. Don't allow yourself to be a statistic. Don't let society set the "rules" of your life. Make your own statistics and rules. Go above and beyond your dreams.

Yeah it's a dream that I live in that one of these days disability advocacy will be efficient and their will be more opportunities for those who are disabled to live their lives to the fullest of their ability.

But, If you don't have a dream, how you gonna make a dream come true?

Just another story of my dad lol

Dad to my mom: "Bev, Why the heck did Michael name that little boy Blanket"

Me: "You don't like that name? Why wouldn't someone their child Blanket?"

Daddy: ".....Alright. I'ma start calling you Comforter and see how you like it"

FAST FORWARD TO TODAY

Dad: "COMFORTER!!........COMFORTER!!!! Comforter, Where the heck did you go?! Come crack these windows in this car in this heat before you break something I got to pay for!

**Neighbors looking krazy**

Dad: "Kris. I mean Comforter. My point exactly"

July 4th was a HAWT and HOTT day! I was looking for a very natural but soft look.  I usually love bright colors, but I wanted to do something different. I wanted to play up on my eyes, but look very natural (almost plain jane). I think I did good!  I used:

Happy July 4th Everyone!! All is well with me!! Eat enough bar b que for me!! I know I will! Summer session I has ended. THANK GOD! I have 2 A's so far! Nothing else to add!

What the Caged bird Sang,

I can't believe that this is my fourth year in college. My last and final year. Thank the Lord for blessing me and allowing me to see this day!!



I'm in summer school now, and it's so durn intense. I hate the teacher, but I will presevere...hopefully with an A. Physics is no joke. It's about 10 of us in the class, and we joke if we can get through this class, I KNOW we can get into med school. He teacher for 2.5 hours a day so...you know it's tiring.



Since I'm in summer school I have no life. No more catching up with friends, unless it's on the weekend :(. When i have time I just sleep and sleep and sleep LOL. I've cut a lot of people out of my life and introduced a few into my life.



I have learned not to rely on "friends" too much. I'm trying to revamp my true friends. I don't know if I posted about it earlier, but I feel as if I have drifted so far away from my old "best friends". They are interested in partying, clubbing, sexing, and etc. You know the life of a college student. I'm just not into that. I've never been. Sometimes I just want to go out with them and catch up on life, but they would rather meet up @ the club and etc. If it's not surrounded around that, they're not up for it. We've been friends since high school, but I understand that people change and friendship drift. It's cool.



My other friend, I feel like I have to play the "Rules" with her. That's why I decided to get my distance. When I call, she doesn't answer. When I txt, I might not get one back until days and days later. When i don't call she worries about me and wonders where have I been. *shrugs* Friendships are supposed to be 50/50 right? Why can't you call me? We have a great friendship when we are close to each other, but with distance the friendship goes out the window. You know the phrase, "He's just not that into you?" That's I feel with her even though she's a female. *tsk tsk* She knows she is my bff because from time to time I have told her, but she has never said it back. That says a lot to me. She is as sweet as pie, but I dunno i think she sticks around for other reasons.



I think after graduation I'm going to change my phone number and just add whoever is needed. Start anew and clear my contacts that I don't use much.



Other than that everything is fine. The weather is beautiful, everything is going as according to plans, and I'm happy. YAAAAY! TTYL lemme go study!



My song for today is Ordinary People. (duh because of the subject) I make mistakes in life and go through my ups and downs, but I'm still just an ordinary person. Ups and Downs is to be expected. I will never know all the answers to life, or pretend I do.



"We're just ordinary people, we don't know which way to go"

I make a lot of posts and blogs on here so i know yall ahve heard numeroous stories about my dad. He's a character. I just wanted to post a few conversations or recollect on some things that have made me smile or giggle over the years.



I asked my dad to hold my nephew for a minute while I fix the babe some food. How about when I come back my dad is holdin this child to the china cabinet whisperin, "When you get a lil bit bigger, I'll teach you everything. Like how to open these cabinets. Your grandma think we all stupid. Everybody know she keep candy and sprite in there. And if you share with me, I'll teach you ALL THE HIDING SPOTS OF THE HOUSE!! There's a whole bunch of sh*t....I mean stuff in this house for you to find!"

....I just died and went to laughter heaven

Kristen: Do I have a curfew?
Dad: Look Kris. Me and ya mom are old. We don't have time to be runnign up behind you. You bout the age now where u can just raise yaself right? You know us old people go to bed at 8pm. If ya a** mess up and get in trouble after 8pm and somehow end up in jail. Just remember that you gonna stay in there until morning. Cuz we're old, go to bed early, and we're deaf. We can't hear when they give you that 1 phone call to call us at 2am. Just do right. Don't get pregnant, don't do drugs, eat ya vegetables all that good stuff.

Little kid: Why is she in a wheelchair
Dad: (Doesn't know what to say)....Um...she has a disease called laziness. She just lazy. Reaaaaaaal lazy.

Dad: (69 yrs old) Kris you know any new dances?
Kris: Not really
Dad: What the h*** they teaching you up there? You're in a sorority right? You should know how to do the stanky leg and stuff!

Dad: (SK's mom), have you taught Kris stuff that gurls suppose to know. You know like how to walk in heels and switch when you walk
SK's mom: No, I teach her VALUABLE things like obedience, patience,
Dad: Well that good. I teach her all the IMPORTANT stuff then like telling them guys where the h*** to go when they act up

Kris: (1st grade) I'm not going back to school
Dad: Why?
Kris: They're going to kill Barney if I go back.
Dad: Not to worry. I killed him yesterday, but they said he died of natural causes. You going to school tommorrow.

Kris: HAPPY BIRTHDYA DADDY!! You're 69!!
Dad; Kris..you haven't heard? When you turn 65 you can skip birthdays. It's on that lil AARP card. I'm not celebrating this year. I'll be 69 next year. Thanx though

This summertime has made me realize that some of the people whom I claim are so close to me are in fact farther on their side of the line. There are two people in my life right now that I would give my world too. I would do anything to protect and make sure these people are happy because I love them dearly, but lately I've been noticing that maybe they don't feel the same. Because of this, next school year I will focus on making more friendship that are not so one sided, and hopefully I'll end the year great.

I'm just noticing things that I never realized. It's this one guy in particular that I am krazy about. Even though I have weighed my options and I know these dude is not even in my league. Isn't very very bright, not financially stable, no long term goals, but his personality is wonderful. He is so funny and has a lot of street smarts. I love his personality and how he is so sweet and because of that I consider him a close friend. I told him how I feel about our relationship, and how I wish we would take things further. He said a mere, "Ok." Well, we live 30 minutes away from each other. I told him i would love for us to chill and hang out over the summer since we are only 20-25 minutes away from each other. He said cool.

Instead he drove 4 hours to see one of my close friends that he is clearly head over heels for but doesn't want to admit it. He has come to see me once, but only because I had something of his possession that he had left on campus. No phone calls, no texts to say hello, nada. On campus, this is a person I saw and hung out with EVERYDAY. He knew if he needed something, I would always be there. I called him a few times and told him I missed him, and I texted him to make sure he was okay. Then I got to thinking, why am I doing this again. Why am I allowing him to be my priority when I am a mere option in his life. I deserve better. I ceased the calls and texts until he decided to pick up the phone and check on me. Relationship even friendship are 50/50.

Then the other situation is my supposedly best friend. Even though I have told her she is my best friend, she has never said the same. That's cool, I understand that she probably has others that she is closer to but dang. She was my roomate for a whole summer, and I was her RA for a whole year. We spent everyday together doing God knows what and we are there for each other. Now all of a sudden, I haven't heard from her since she left campus. It's like a smack in the damn face.

I used to call her over holiday breaks, but then I realized that she never answers her phone. I used to txt her, but txts go unanswered. I finally got fed up. I texted her one day when I first got home, and just stopped after she didn't respond. I feel used. I really do. I think one of my biggest problems is that I don't like confrontations. She has done other things that I didn't agree with, btu I let it slide. I didn't like the fact that she has gone the whole mile for others, but on my birthday we really didn't do much. I had to beg her to go out with me and some other friends after I was down about not doing anything for my bday. I didn't get any gifts from my probate not even a mere congratulations, but she stayed up all night making gifts and buying things for her other summer roommate. I kidna feel the only reason why she "kept peace" with me and kept a friendship with me is because I let her drive my car to work because I knew she didn't have a way. Now that I look back, it makes you think huh. Maybe the great friendships that I think I have with people are nonexistent.

This happens every year though. It makes me look back and see what is it about me that hinders me from having strong friendships, because I haven't had any long lived ones since middle/high school. I wish someone would just tell me. Until then, I'm going to continue to enjoy my summer, learn my way around Jackson with my GPS lol, and improve on a few things before school starts in the fall.

Krissie

It's one of my most shameful thoughts that as days go by I still try to shake, but I continue to think I am undeserving of love.  I feel so much resentment to those who have lives in which they are able to enjoy and experience love and joy with another.  

Nothing much goign on here! I'm on spring break and I am having a blast so far! My great aunt died last weeks o I was really down, but I had to realize everythign happens for a reason and she's in a better place. I went to my Alpha Kappa Alpha conference and had a LOT of fun! We got back on Sunday and then I spent the whole day with my best friend shopping and going out to eat. It was a LOT of fun. Then today I let my GPS get me lost and I drove 3 hrs to my house :) Now I'm just chillin and tryna keep up on my frugality mission. So far so good! I'll post pictures later!

I'm listening to Outkast. Can you tell? lol I couldn't think of anything to name this post. Nothing big has been going on in my life. I'm thinking about starting a website...but I don't know how much time I'm going to commit to it, so we'll see. 

I asked my dad to hold my nephew for a minute while I fix the babe some food. How about when I come back my dad is holdin this child to the china cabinet whisperin, "When you get a lil bit bigger, I'll teach you everything. Like how to open these cabinets. Your grandma think we all stupid. Everybody know she keep candy and sprite in there. And if you share with me, I'll teach you ALL THE HIDING SPOTS OF THE HOUSE!! There's a whole bunch of sh*t....I mean stuff in this house for you to find!

....I just died and went to laughter heaven

I am krazy about this boy.  He is sooo sweet. I just look @ him from afar now, but his personality is so on point. He's not my typical type, but he always keeps me smilin.  I found out both of his parents are disabled.  He touched me when he said his dad was his hero, because he never let having a disability get him down.  He's real chill with me, and he picks up on my vibes, but nevertheless he holds back from me. I really wish he wouldn't.  

My mama said life would be so hard
Growin up days as a black girl scarred
In so many ways though we've come so far
They just know the name they don't know the pain
So please hold your heads up high
Don't be ashamed of yourself know I
Will carry it forth til the day I die
They just know the name they don't know the pain black girl

The ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Mission: 
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria: 
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part). 

Why 1001 Days? 
Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple goals such as New Year's resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organizing and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.

Some common goal setting tips:
1. Be decisive. Know exactly what you want, why you want it, and how you plan to achieve it. 

2. Stay Focused. Any goal requires sustained focus from beginning to end. Constantly evaluate your progress.

3. Welcome Failure. Frequently, very little is learned from a venture that did not experience failure in some form. Failure presents the opportunity to learn and makes the success more worthy.

4. Write down your goals. It clarifies your thinking and reinforces your commitment.

5. Keep your goals in sight. Review them frequently, and ensure that they are always at the forefront of your mind

The list:
January 1, 2008 
: personal :: ..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

1. Create My List and Stick to It
2. Make all A's for one semester/Make Dean's List
3. Spend less than $100 for one month
4. Keep my dorm room clean for 3 consecutive weeks
5. Wake up everyday for a month at 6 am
6. Drink nothing but water (6 cups) for 2 consecutive weeks
7. Take better care of my hair/Gain BSL
8. Take two semesters of a foreign language
9. Exercise 2 times a week for 3 weeks
10. Say goodbye to friends/associates who don't care for me or treat me wrongly
11. Travel to another state in the United States
12. Convince at least 2 other friends to create their own list.
13. Set out my clothing for the following week for one month
14. Speak with correct English grammar for 2 weeks
15. Get 100 photos developed
16. Put $1 dollar in a jar each day and spend it after March 1, 2008
17. Develop my time management skills more
18. Earn (not win) a prestigious leadership position
19. Write a goodbye letter to Chris and mean it
20. Take pictures of my campus, myself, and friends and put it in a scrapbook or photo album
21. Buy NO new clothes for a month
22. Host a party
23.  Find a Church that I like
24. Buy a car and drive it
25. Keep a diary updated for one month
26. Learn a new word every week
27. Compliment another person sincerely once a day for a week
28. Compile a book of recipes
29. Give closest friends space, devote more time for Kristen
30. Learn how to walk in Heels
31. Read one book a month.
32. Lose ten pounds
33. learn to accept a compliment graciously
34. Memorize 15 spiritual scriptures
35. Wear a different pair of shoes and purses to school, everyday for at least 2weeks.
36. Go somewhere by plane
37. Eat at a 5 star restaurant
38. Read passages from the Bible and Meditate each night for one week
39. Go one day totally internet free.
40. Pay off credit card bill and close it
41. Learn to swim
42. Visit Howard University
43. Tell people how I honestly feel for 2 weeks.
44. Sit in the front of all of my classes
45. Memorize 10 poems (0/10)
46. Compose a book of my poetry and publish one of them
47. Buy a quality makeup set
48. Go horseback riding.
49. Organize my closet and keep it this way for at least 2 weeks
50. Tell each of my Residents why I love them living on my hall
51. Join a social group for women :) (It was Alpha Kappa Alpha duhh)
52. Design a Nike shoe and buy it
53. Successfully complete the MCAT
54. Clean and redecorate my room at the house
55. Learn a full sonata on the piano
56. Go one week without spending any money at all
57. Enter a singing competition and win
58. Get and successfully keep a boyfriend for 2 months
59. Fast for 2 weeks
60. Get a chemical peel for my face/ tame my acne and scarring
61. Write reasons why I love myself for 2 weeks
62. Walk 2 miles
63. have professional portraits taken

:: For my Family::

1. Write my mother a letter and tell her what I really think about her
2. Tell my father that I love him and the reasons why
3. Write a poem and send it to my brother
4. Spend more time with my cousins
5. Take a family trip with at least one family member
6. Keep in touch with my niece at least once a week for a month
7. Talk to my grandmother twice a week for one month
8. Cook dinner for my family
9. Help my mother organize the house
10. Spend more time with Jamison and Dee
11. Talk to Jameikia more
12. Do something nice for my grandmother
13. Take my mother out for lunch
14. Create a family photo album
15. Pay a bill for my mother
16. Drive my father somewhere
17. Be a cook for a holiday family dinner.
18. Spend a day with my brother
19. Do something nice for my brother

:: For my Professional Growth & Finances ::

1. Buy $500 worth of Savings Bonds
2. Save $5000 and have it in a high interest account
3. Have an emergency account with $1000 in it
4. Enroll in Med School
5. Volunteer/Work at a hospital
6. Become a Business Minor
7. Have my resume professionally done.
8. Learn a little French
9. Buy my first car
10. Be on top of work assignments and finish things before they are done
11. Keep an accurate record of all my spending for 3 months
12. Pay off my car in 3 years

:: For Others ::

1. Give a sincere compliment/accolade to a different person for an entire month.
2. Volunteer for 2 days
3. Donate all the clothing and shoes that I no longer need to charity.
4. Donate $1 for each Goal on this list unaccomplished.
5. Tell a school worker in a letter how great they are.

100 Make a care package to send toWWW.ANYSOLDIER.COM 
101.Anonymously do something for someone else that will have a positive impact on their life