And it came to me in a dream....

“When a relationship dies do we ever really give up the ghost or are we forever haunted by the spirits of relationships past.”
-Carrie Bradshaw



And it came to me in a dream. Blindfolded I was led to a dark, lonely, and cold parking lot in the middle of the university. No sounds except the whistling of wind running through my hair and the sound of skin to skin contact as my tiny anemic frame struggled to stay warm against his army suit.

"Open your eyes." I heard being whispered in my ear. Once they opened I wished they would close again because I could no longer stop the tears running down my cheeks. My first Valentine's Day. No one in the past had ever even given it a thought. Now I was a mother haha. I inherited a 4 foot bear later named "Nichi" because I was his "Sun" and "Moon".

Chocolate was everywhere and 5 balloons were wrapped around Nichi's tiny hand (while he was strapped in his seatbelt for safety of course). The 5 balloons represented the 5th of December when we decided to be official. A golden chain was wrapped around my arm because we had a bond that would forever be locked together. So true in more ways than one. I wrapped my tiny arms around his neck, leaned in, then everything paused.


The dream began fast forward, rewind, and focused... The 5 balloons kept in a tiny leather box were burned. The chocolate box was destroyed and tossed around like the supposedly strong bond that we once shared, and the bracelet was given away like the time we spent over the years that was wasted. The look in Nichi's eyes were soo innocent that I couldn't bear (pun haha) to depart from him for despite I erased "him" from my past... I was still the "Sun" and "Moon". Like them I was still timeless and untouchable with a dark side that is rarely seen by everyone. Anyway, I locked Nichi in our storage room (as well as my heart temporarily), and I haven't loved like I once loved before finding either of them since.


Some people are always haunted by the ghost of relationships' past.
But some people are smart and let it free.
I wonder if I will be the latter one day
Or confined to my own past and insecurities?

To be continued.....