Lemme type this fast. You know I am a college student who gets her sleep in between classes lol. I WILL be sleep by 12:30 and it is 12:17 now....so lemme recap the gibberish I wrote yesterday.
I went to church yesterday...spent time with some friends afterwards for brunch. I got some studying in, and the continuation of cleaning my room. Afterwards I gave a girl I don't even know a favor, and drove her 1hr and a half for her to get home since she was stranded. I felt good. I did a good deed of the day, felt spiritually free, and just overly happy. On my way back to campus I decided to drop by my bff house. Her gdaddy died on Saturday morning around 4am..... She has enver experienced death before, so I know how she feels. She has been really down lately, so I went to go see her and cheer her up.
My mom called me. She asked me where I was. I told her that I was on my way to my friend's apartment. She started talking about, "That's exactly where your daddy said you'd be...in the streets somewhere." I told her that I was going to see my friend to cheer her up and I was heading back to the school around 8. She told me that all I do is run the streets and my priorities are not in order. (In my head...I'm like blah blah blah but I stayed respectful and quiet....I big improvement if you know me.) She went on to say that if I keep this up she's gonna take my car and my phone.
I got pissed off and was like "You're krazy if you think you can take a car that I, Kristen pay the notes and gas on every month." She told me I need to remember she is a cosigner on my car, I said I will fix it and take her off as soon as possible. She told me that if I do I need to pay my $500 every 6 months for insurance, I told her I have no problem with that as long as she hands over my monthly disability check she hoards. She calls me disrespectful. Calls me mentally inept.
She told me she found a poem I wrote and it was an erotica poem. *Shrugs* I said, yes I wrote it. She said aren't I ashamed? I'm like nope, because if you weren't snooping through my stuff you wouldn't know. You seek so you find answers. I'm a writer. You know that. I write poems, short stories, essays, and anything else to release stress. I also write erotica. She asked me how do I feel to put my name on such trash. I told her I think the gift of writing is a gift period. I'm not ashamed of nothing I ever put my name on. It is what it is.
She brings up the past. I'm a whore. I'm on birth control. I casually sex the dudes know. I tell her to stop making assumptions about my life...she tells me "They ain't with you now." They don't want me. My friends are laughing behind my back. She said I'm going to get kicked out of my sorority. I'm a poor role model to anyone. She said she opened my mail. She saw the book, "WHY MEN MARRY BITCHES"? Who the hell would read something like that. My dad gets on the phone saying why would I read that trash written by a white woman. He tells me if I want dating advice I should ask the black lady down the street.
I ask why the heck would I ask someone who is unwed about dating advice. Makes no sense. I tell my mother that I do not want to argue with her. We have two points of view that will always clash, but I do not appreciate how she treats me. I'm not going to let her call me and banter me about not making grades. I make waaaaaaaaaay better grades than my brother ever did, and academically I'm smarter than both of my parents and I know it. If I make a C...I make a C. I have a 3.27 GPA. Kiss my ass if you think that is a bad GPA. Pretty damn good to me considering the activities I'm involved in...oh and I have two jobs. How about those apples? I made a B and two Cs last semester. Not my best, but not incredibly bad either. Unlike anyone else in my family, I did not take the easy route and change majors. Biology is not a piss in a pot degree...it takes a lot of work and diligence. I'm taking 400 classes, I can do better but these classes are very demanding. If I have more A's than C's I'm not worried when it comes to my major. Since college I have made 3 Cs....so stfu.
Anyway I told her that I want a better relationship with her. I love her. I haven't spoken to her in two almost three weeks and the basis of our conversations should not have to always be negative. If so...I will stop answering the phone.
She says she and my father are coming to get me before I do something detrimental to my health. I need to go to a counselor. She thinks I'm bipolar...I am becoming dysfunctional. I promise I think they just WANT something to be wrong with me. Sassily, I say I've lived in a dysfunctional family my entire life, maybe that's the reason for my inability to be functional.
They say I'm lying about my grades. I tell her that I will just stop telling her what my grades are then. I don't HAVE to tell her anything about my academia. She says, "Okay just make it hard on yourself. I'll call up to the office and find out." I tell her I'm not a little girl anymore. Under laws, I don't have to tell her anything about my academia including the disclosure of my grades. If she continues to criticize me and what I do at school when there is nothing to criticize, I will just stop telling her anything and let her wonder. (Smart ass mouth...I do have...I won't lie)
Lemme just tell the net one thing.... It is a commandment to honor thy mother and thy father...but I really need some time away from them. First, I need to learn to keep my mouth shut. They are here on this Earth to make my life a living hell. I need to learn that LOOOL. Because of that, I should just stay silent and let them talk. When i didn't tell them anything about my life everything was fine. So that's where I am going back to. They will not know if I am dating, what my grades are, If I ever have sex again, If I'm going to church...I just can't take it anymore....at least for right now.
ETA: I'm having a great day TODAY. How about you? lool And whoever is reading from LHCF....Yes I Cowashed today lool **grins**.
-Simple
