Tears are unspoken words

Today was the first day of school! I looked ubber kute or so I thought in my Ralph Lauren sweater I got from Christmas and pink and green accessories to match lol. SKEEEEEE-WEE! My birthday is in two days, and I honestly can't believe it. I know I'm going to take myself out if no one else does. Last year my birthday was horrible. Everyone forgot about it. My best friends were fighting each other. One friend took me out to eat, but didn't have money to pay loool so it was like, we went out to eat casually, and went back home. Even my mom forgot. She claimed she didn't but she called me at like 11 pm....

I'm a little lonely too. But with that being said, What's new? My friends all have butty buddies, boyfriends, or at least friends. I have none of the above. Like seriously. All the dudes that do talk to me are complete a**holes with one purpose in mind---getting in between the legs of as many girls as possible, including the one that probably has low self-esteem since she has a disability. Say it isn't true, and I'll tell you sadly it is. It's been told me to my face.

Living with a disability is no fun at times. Physically you don't feel so great at times. Emotionally you stay a wreck...but it's hidden from the outside view. I feel so hurt at times I won't lie, that I can't even get a guy to look at me. Others say your time will come and yada, and it will but living in the present is hell. Sometimes I just wanna be able to call someone up other than a durn female and talk. I'd love it if a guy would just once take me out to the movies so we could chill. I wish for once I could experience the dating scene instead of reading books such as The Rules, Why Men Love B****es and others that I see no purpose in reading at times, because I have yet to be able to use them on someone.

I just wish someone saw what I see in me, and break through the barriers and look at me for the person I am on the inside. I get so tired of living in a bubble. I cried last night. I'll prolly cry to night. But hopefully I won't cry forever.

--Simple