Sweet Misery

I don't mean to complain a lot....I really don't. But..hey...this is my blog...just click the [x] if you don't want to hear me whine...

I really didn't think my 21st birthday would be like this. I'ma start taking control of my life. If I want something done I'ma just do it myself. I moped in my room from 5pm to now sad and kinda down because of my bday. I was blessed that my best friend took me out to lunch after I asked her and agreed to pay. If not for that I would have not done anything for my birthday. My friends were supposed to be planning me something really special. I was really looking forward to it, because last year I wanted to go jump off a cliff about how horrible my birthday was.

Oh lord here come the crocodile tears coming. Last year my whole family forgot about my birthday. My mom called me around 11pm...claiming that I was born at night so she didn't forget she was being accurate. My mom, dad, brother, and grandmother forgot. Yes...even my grandmother forgot. I had thrown this big bday party for my best friend like 3 months earlier, so I was praying they would do the same to me. Nothing big. I just wanted to see all my friends together, have a cake, and have fun. Everyone forgot...My "friends" were beefing so they didn't want to be together or talk even for my bday. One friend took me to a restaurant where I had to pay...we went to the movies where I had to pay again...and we went home. Kinda like a typical girls night out...not my bday.

So this year they kept saying, "You really think we're not gonna do anything for your bday" ...I said nope I don't, but I'll be grateful when I see it. Well everything just happened on top of each other. My parents aren't talking to me because of my earlier post about being on birth control and having the talk about sex. My mom called said Happy Birthday and here's your father. He said happy birthday...he asked me when I was coming home and then they both got off the phone. THat's the first time I've heard from them in a week. My brother called tonight. My gma remembered and called me after class.

My friend got a ticket...had to go to Jackson...to get her hair done...so she wasn't here on my bday. My other friend had to work. Everyone else was in class...or forgot my bday because I'm not on facebook. I was really down. I just want to remember one of my bdays. Yall all I want is a cake and 3 sunflowers, my favorite flower in multicolors. All I want is to be around people who care about me and love me. All I want is to feel loved.

...Maybe next year....Guess I can't have my cake and eat it too....I don't have a cake....*sigh* I'm sorry maybe I'm just a spoiled brat. Excuse my tears

-Simple